Boomer Ronin

Are You a Heart Worker? The Value of Being a Quitter.

Yes, I quit. I didn’t resign, and I wasn’t moving on to a better position. Well, in retrospect, that last part did turn out to be true.

At the end of 2010, I felt tired, not because I was working 60 hours a week or because the work was challenging. I was engaged in a battle of someone else’s making – a 70-year battle for the minds and hearts of the children of Harlem. Like many other good ideas gone wrong, this one is masked under a mission statement of “helping children achieve their full potential”. I was doomed, as I was there to do my usual heart work – and not to be a hero or a savior.

Looking back, this being the end of the year and all, some lessons have become self-evident. For example, there is the issue of values and value alignment.

If you are a heart worker and your values don’t match the values of the organization then it is inevitable that a break up will ensue. Sound familiar? Like it kind of sounds like a bad romance (thanks, Lady Gaga!).

Yup. Your 9-to-5 is like a lover. Do you follow? Most importantly, are you still in love or are you there because of routine, have to pay the bills, don’t believe you deserve better, feel guilty about initiating the break up, afraid you are making the wrong call if you leave? What will they do without you? The reasons to stay are endless but there’s only one way out…out!

I admit, before leaving I felt a twilight zone-type fear of unproductivity. After quitting, I soon realized the reason I did not want to go into my office was not because I was “burned out” as some folks in the nonprofit world call it. It was the feeling of energy being sucked out of my body by complacent, bitter and miserable colleagues, discouraging board members and an organizational culture so resistant to change that it’s leadership wouldn’t even change the conference room wallpaper without going into 10 executive sessions.

The break-up was inevitable. It/us just couldn’t work.

But yet there we were, Hans Hageman, Executive Director at the time, and myself trying to rationalize staying because of the kids.

Then came the final realization – yes, worse than facing the twilight zone or energy suckers. The right choice is incredibly hard to make.

If you quit you are a quitter. But if you stay you are useless. You compromise your values, risk depression; creativity dies a slow, painful death.

So, I ask YOU: what’s it going to be?

Before answering, think about this:

“We have to be able to walk forward with faith into a world that is chaotic and abstract and allow the opportunities to present themselves. And we need to be so aligned, so true to what we believe, that we are in a position to seize these opportunities when they occur. Our example is our reputation.
– Sue Knight, NLP at Work

I am proud to be a quitter. I recognize and accept my own value/values and better yet, I know my heart work is priceless. Do you? Allow yourself to answer honestly, and in 2011 proceed accordingly.

Young, Broke and Giving
As a former development director for a nonprofit, a self-identified lefty, and a true believer in what giving does for YOU, I could not resist the temptation to write a quick note on the subject. The threat of malemployment* for recent college graduates is real.  Giving is a helpful tool to resist the temptation to let go of your dream life or, worse, give in to a “good enough” life. Below is my quick and dirty guide to giving selfishly.

Give from your Core: Choose a cause you really connect with. If it means your alma mater or your local homeless shelter, great. But if it means giving to an organization in Costa Rica because you recently had a transformative experience there, then stick with that. It may sound taboo but giving is as much about YOU the giver as it is about the organization or cause.

Give Continuously – The donation amount is important but what makes the difference in your giving impact is your commitment to the organization. You demonstrate that commitment by giving continuously.

Give over Cocktails: The true testament of whether or not you care about a cause is if you are talking about it everywhere, anywhere and to everyone. Are you talking about your volunteer work at all the parties you attend? Did I mention this is absolutely free? Did I mention this helps you demonstrate how well rounded, generous, cool and knowledgeable you are?

Give Yourself: It’s no longer expected that you volunteer to mentor when what you really want to do is revamp an organization’s archaic website with your awesome design skills. Nonprofits now incorporate business practices traditionally associated with for-profit corporations (think Return On Investment). This means you have more choices over how you can contribute to your favorite charity. Use that choice! It’s a win-win; you help the nonprofit and you add another website to your design reel.

Give NOW: Abundance is a lifestyle not a goal. Don’t wait until December 31st (when most people give in order to ensure the tax-write off), your next paycheck, and definitely not until you pay off your debt. Giving is an investment in your karma…and can you really put a price tag on that?

*A term used to describe college graduates employed in jobs they could have held without going to college. For more information about malemployment click here.